NICU | Day 5

Today had a rough start. We got to the hospital at 2 like we normally do and when we got to the NICU, we called over the hall phone so they could let us in. We knew it was possible to run into this (they’d fully warned us it could happen) but they told us they had something going on with a new baby and we wouldn’t be able to come in for a little while, probably at least an hour. We decided to wait it out, even though I’d timed my pumping perfectly so that we had enough time to get there, see her for a while and get back before I needed to pump again. Waiting an hour really threw a hitch in my plan, but there was no way I could leave and come back.

We have had some really great nurses since we’ve been there… my favorite in L&D was a nurse named Melissa, my favorite on the mother/baby side is Kirsten and we’ve had three really great ones in the NICU – Amy, Megan, and one that I keep missing her name. Well today was Amy and she met us in the hallway after we called in and they said we’d have to wait and explained what was going on. She said they had a little 2 lb baby that was needing a transport to Texas Children’s and the transport team would be there in about 5 minutes, then it shouldn’t take more than 30-40 for them to get back on the road. I feel like it’s incredibly selfish of me but  I immediately became thankful that it was not our baby that needed the transport. As hard as it is to not bring her home yet, it could definitely be worse. Whitlee has made such significant progress and we are so proud she’s doing so well. I ended up seeing the mom and dad of that baby in the hall near the elevator just after the transport team came in, and my heart broke for them. I got choked up as I watched the mom cry her eyes out. I hope their baby is okay and gets to come home as soon as possible.

When they finally let us in to see Whitlee, I was in rough shape. I was having some emotional instability just before that, plus seeing those parents and having to wait to see our baby, I was just on the edge of tears the entire time we were in there. She was sleeping, on her belly again and had a pacifier. She looked very cozy! Our nurse, Amy, had told us we could bring her a blanket and some clothes and when they were able, they’d put her in some clothes and they would definitely put her blanket on her immediately. So I picked a purple giraffe print blanket to bring with us earlier that morning and she looked so pretty with that purple blanket next to her! They turned the lights off and we said hi to her and she immediately peeked her eyes open, just a little, like she was telling us “I know you’re here and I see you, but I’m sleepy, momma.” I like my sleep too, baby girl. So we really just watched her sleep for a while. Since we didn’t get in at 2 we’d missed the opportunity to ask to hold her or change her diaper so that kinda made me sad, but as long as she was doing well that’s all that matters. Before we left we got an update and they said she was doing very well on breathing and all she needed now was increased feeding. Once she was done with her antibiotics and taking a little more ml of breastmilk through her feeding tube, they’d be able to remove the line in her belly where they draw blood from, and we’d be able to hold her finally. Then she’d move on to bottle feeding and once she was taking 2 oz (I think) a feeding by bottle, and had gained enough weight, she’d get to come home. Her doctor is on vacation until Tuesday, and the replacement doctor is a little more hesitant to move forward until she’s more than sure they’re ready so our nurse said she half expected her doctor to come back Tuesday and be like “Why is she not on a bottle yet? Let’s move forward, she’s ready.” So I expect Tuesday to be a major day in progression. We left not quite as enthused since we got so much interaction the day before, but happy that she was still doing good.

At home, I was really sad that she wasn’t home with us and spent most of the evening a little upset. I know she’s in a good place and will be home with us before I know it but I’m dying to at least hold her. I hate that she’s 5 days old and I haven’t gotten to yet.

About 6:45 this evening, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as the hospital and panicked. I answered it and it was Amy, our nurse. She said quickly (I’m sure to calm me down), “Mrs. Hillin, this is Amy in the NICU. Nothings wrong, we’ve just made some changes I thought you’d want to know.” I was so so nervous. But she went on to tell me that they decided to take the line out of her belly and if everything went well with it during the night, I’d get to hold her tomorrow! I am so insanely excited but praying it goes well so that I do actually get to hold her. So that was our okay day, followed by very good news in the evening. Fingers crossed!!

Also, they gave us a little thing they “helped” her make for us on Thanksgiving. So sweet!!



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