Huck Inlow | 4 Months


Late posting, as usual! But in our defense, with Huck’s last surgery and recovery, things have been a little hectic! 

Stats:

  • Birth – 3035 grams | 6 lbs 11 oz
  • 1 Month – 3950 grams | 8 lbs 11 oz
  • 2 Months – 4420 grams | 9 lbs 11 oz
  • 3 Months – 5620 grams | 12 lbs 6 oz
  • 4 Months – 5889 grams | 12 lbs 15 oz

He is wearing size 2 diapers and currently not wearing clothes since he just had his Glenn surgery. Was wearing 3-6 months right before though! He has almost completely outgrown 3 month onesies. 

Eating: Huck was eating anywhere from 120-150 mls per bottle, every 3-4 hours up until the point he went for pre Glenn cath lab at around 3 1/2 months. After that, he developed necrotizing entercolitis (NEC) and was put on bowel rest and antibiotics for 14 days. They ran IV nutrition during that time. He was released to restart feeds the Sunday after his Glenn and we started with 15 mls and are up to 30, but so far he is not tolerating his feeds very well. He has taken 7 bottles in the last 24 hours and puked up the entire volume of 3 of them. Eating is the main thing he has to figure out again post op in order to be able to go home. 

Sleep: Again, pre Glenn, he had a pretty decent routine, but it kind of all went out the window post op. He is starting to sleep more at night and nap less during the day, though. He still sleeps a lot in the mamaroo which helps his reflux, but will also sleep pretty decent in his bed at a pretty steep incline. I’m still brainstorming ideas for sleep when we go home.. pretty sure we will be getting a mamaroo, but trying to think of other options too. We had an arms reach co sleeper that I’m trying to figure out if there’s a safe way to elevate the head of it. If you have any ideas, let me know! He will be sleeping in our room for quite a while because I’ll be a nervous wreck for … oh, the next 18 years. 

Milestones: He rolled belly to back a few more times before he went back on chest precautions post op, and when he’s on his back, he rocks really hard to one side. Wants so badly to flip to his tummy! Has really great head control and can sit unassisted for up to 20-30 seconds!

He also went through his first hurricane. We are still in Houston, so we were here throughout Hurricane Harvey and it was pretty intense here for a little bit. 

Medical Milestones: He had his Glenn on September 7! This was his second open heart surgery. Post op recovery is going well! He was extubated the day after surgery and has been on room air since then. We have been working on getting back up to full feeds so that he can get off tpn and lipids and hopefully go home! His reflux is back with a vengeance so we’re trying to work around that. He is still on lovenox shots, clonidine, a diuretic, reflux meds, diazepam, and methadone for opiod withdrawals, but we are actively weaning methadone. They turned milrinone off a few days post op. So far, labs look good and indicate a successful Glenn! 

Currently satting in the high 70’s to mid 80’s, heartrate is 120-150, blood pressure is usually 90s/40s. 

Likes:

  • Being held / rocked / snuggled
  • Mamaroo
  • Watching videos of sister 
  • Watching movies, really likes Sing 
  • Being tickled
  • Listening to Elvis 
  • When you blow kisses at him
  • The lights that reflect off his monitors
  • Warm bottles
  • Chewing on toys
  • Field trips out of the hospital room

Dislikes:

  • Diaper changes
  • Picc line dressing changes
  • Baths
  • Lovenox shots
  • Getting his blood pressure taken
  • Getting his temperature taken
  • Being listened to with the stethoscope
  • Pretty much anything hospital related anymore, haha
  • Pacifier
  • Being restrained in any way

Whew, another month down. 123 days in the hospital and 128 days in Houston.. we are so ready to go home. We basically missed the whole summer being down here with Huck and we’re ready to get out of here, get back to the country, and enjoy the fall. Even though our stay has been long, I couldn’t imagine how things would be if we were anywhere else but TCH. We’ve now seen what happens with babies that start out where we were supposed to start out (that’s a story for another day), so that alone makes us thankful to be here, but we are also so thankful for how so many people have taken what seems to be a special interest in our boy and our whole family. I’ll actually miss a LOT of people when we finally go home! 

Huck Inlow, you are so loved! I hope one day I can explain to you how much not only your daddy, sister, and I love you, but how much our entire community and family and friends and nurses and doctors and PCA’s and therapists and complete strangers love you. You have so many people supporting you and we have been shown so much kindness from all of those people. I hope you always know that kindness. And I hope you know how many people have rooted for you, prayed for you, and fought for you. You have love from and support from all over! 

Happy 4 months baby boy! We can’t wait to show you the world! 


Advertisements

Huck Inlow | 3 Months


Stats: 

  • Birth – 3035 grams | 6 lbs 11 oz
  • 1 Month – 3950 grams | 8 lbs 11 oz
  • 2 Months – 4420 grams | 9 lbs 11 oz
  • 3 Months – 5620 grams | 12 lbs 6 oz | 62 cm

He is wearing size 2 diapers and mostly 3 month clothes, but a few of those are starting to get snug length wise. He basically just blew right through that size. 

Eating: Huck is currently eating 85-100 mls of breastmilk (roughly about 3 ounces, give or take a few mls) about every 3-4 hours. He was made NPO (nothing by mouth) for a week due to a bloody poopy diaper and that hindered his volume capacity a little but he’s finally doing a lot better.

Sleep: His daytime sleep is still fairly consistent. He’s normally sleeps until about 8 AM, gets a bottle, then meds, and lovenox about 9 AM, takes a shortish nap, gets his weight done, a bath, and lead sticker change, followed by another bottle and meds, then a really long nap from about 12-2/3. He’s usually awake and happy around 3 PM where he will eat/play/cat nap until around 5:30. He’s been eating less and sleeping more at night which the doctors and I are both good with. He’ll normally eat again about 9 PM, sleep a good stretch, eat again around 2-3 AM and sleep another good stretch. 

He still sleeps a lot in the mamaroo which helps his reflux a lot, but will also sleep pretty decent in his bed, in his “nest” that they make for him. 

Milestones:
He rolled belly to back for the first time and has had a few little laughs! He also sits up assisted and can control his head and body really well. 

Medical Milestones: Thankfully, nothing has changed majorly since 2 months. Currently still inpatient on the CVICU heart failure unit while we wait on our Glenn surgery. We will be here until then. He is on milrinone and clonidine + reflux medications + a twice daily diuretic. He is not on any respiratory support at the moment and taking all feeds by mouth. He is finally off tpn and lipids, but still getting therapeutic doses of lovenox for a blood clot in his picc line. The Glenn should be happening in the next few weeks! 

Likes:

  • Being held / rocked
  • The mamaroo
  • His playmat 
  • Anything with lights and sound
  • The bumbo chair 
  • Warm milk
  • Listening to Elvis (it seriously calms him down immediately)

Dislikes:

  • Diaper changes
  • Picc line dressing changes
  • Baths
  • Lovenox shots 
  • People messing with his feet

I can’t believe this little guy is already a quarter of a year old. It seems like it’s both flown by and crawled by. I love getting to know him and spending time with him and seeing him with his daddy and his sister. His next surgery should be very soon and if everything goes as planned, we should be home not too long after that. For the first time, all four of us will be together under one roof. I can’t hardly wait! ❤️



Huck Inlow | Two Months


Stats: Well Huck was born at 3035 grams which converts to 6 lbs 11 oz and was 3950 grams at one month which converts to 8 lbs 11 oz and now we’re sitting at 4420 grams which converts to 9 lbs 11 oz. So he gained two pounds exactly in his first month and one pound exactly in his second month. This is great because he needs to be at least a certain weight before his next surgery. Hoping he gains at least a pound a month! (But since it has taken me a few days to post this, he’s already crossed over 10 lbs!)

He is wearing size 1 diapers and just outgrew the last of his newborn clothes. Which caught me a little off guard and I realized all of the clothes we brought with us are newborn! Had to go buy a few new outfits because they want him wearing clothes now. 

Eating: Huck is currently eating 50-60 ml of regular breastmilk at each feed, typically about every 3 hours. This amount is down a bit from 1 month due to some significant reflux issues. He’s slowly working his way back up though. In the past few days he has taken his old normal of 75-80 a couple of times. 

I’m still exclusively pumping for him, still hating it, still sticking it out. 10 months to go. 😝

Sleep: His daytime sleep has gotten pretty consistent. He’s normally awake for an hour and is happy and playing, then naps for two hours. We’re still working on a night time schedule but last night he was awake and upset on and off from pretty much 6 pm to 11 pm and then he slept from midnight to 4 am, ate a bottle and got a picc line dressing change, then slept again from about 5 to 9 before he was ready to eat again. He sleeps mostly in the mamaroo now which helps his reflux a lot. 

Milestones: We started tummy time! He got the all clear at 6 weeks post op and we started giving it a go. He doesn’t love it but he at least tolerates it for a short bit before he’s over it. He actually prefers to do it more on my chest than on the bed. 

We’ve gotten lots of real smiles! And he’s been cooing at me a lot lately. 



Medical Milestones: Currently still inpatient on the CVICU heart failure unit while we wait on our Glenn surgery. We will be here until then. He is on milrinone and clonidine + reflux medications + a couple of diuretics. He is not on any respiratory support at the moment and taking all feeds by mouth. He is still getting a little background nutrition help from tpn and lipids, and getting therapeutic doses of lovenox for a blood clot in his picc line. The Glenn is tentatively scheduled for 4 months old on September 13 but they will start discussing options at 3 months and 5kg weight. 

Likes:

  • Being held
  • Mamaroo
  • Laying on his back and looking around
  • Anything with lights and sound (I’ve been letting him watch newborn stimulation videos on YouTube and he loves it)
  • Warm milk

Dislikes:

  • Diaper changes
  • Picc line dressing changes
  • Taking his medicine
  • Baths
  • Lovenox shots

We are so in love with this little guy and can’t wait to get him home. He is developing such a cute little personality and I’m so amazed at how well he’s handling being in the hospital. I guess he doesn’t know any different, but with as much stuff is hooked up to him, he really doesn’t seem to mind it much. I spend my days just hanging out with him all day, trying to have as close to a normal experience as I can with him. His doctors tells us all the time that life after the Glenn will be so much better and I’m starting to get anxious for that. Almost there!

Happy two months, sweet baby Huck! Mama, daddy, and Whitlee love you so much!! 

Best Laid Plans

Warning – long post alert. Get your popcorn now! 🙂

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

So I mentioned in a previous post our plans for when I return to work which included details about my work schedule and our overall plan. You can read the full post here. The gist of it is that my mother in law wanted to keep her some, as well as my mother, but we thought day care would be good for her in a social aspect and this was her basic schedule:

Monday – Daycare
Tuesday – MawMaw (my mother in law)
Wednesday – Daycare
Thursday – MawMaw
Every Other Friday – YaYa (my mom)

We carefully selected a daycare based on location and I actually went to that daycare and previewed it. I was very impressed and thought it would be a great fit. Whitlee’s number one priority is healthy weight gain since she was 6 weeks premature. She is actually on the growth charts now, which is great, but she definitely needs to continue a steady weight gain.

Today was the start of my 6th week back to work and we thought everything was going really well on all counts. Then all of the sudden several things happened that bothered me, two of which really upset me.

1. They didn’t tell me that her “teachers” rotate. We still don’t have any proof of this, but my husband said he finally noticed that every time he dropped her off and every time he picks her up, it’s a different person. Different person from one morning to the next and different person from one afternoon to the next, then randomly it’ll be a familiar face. So with separation anxiety looming in our near future (I’ve heard it kicks in about 6 months), I wasn’t comfortable with this at all. Plus babies are creatures of habit and how was someone supposed to get her routine down if it was someone new every day?? This wasn’t major, but still made me a little concerned.

2. This is one that really upset me. Again, I don’t have any confirmation of this, but that momma intuition was fully ablaze. Whitlee wears Pampers diapers and that’s all we send with her to daycare. Daycare also numbers their diapers for some reason…maybe for identification, but Whitlee’s always have a 3 written on them. (Which is also weird to me – you have to assign my child a number?? *Side-eye*) Well when we were in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, the IV antibiotics she was on gave her diarrhea, which led to a little bit of diaper rash. They also provided Huggies diapers in the hospital, and when we were discharged they sent the remaining diapers of an open package home with us. So we put them in her diaper drawer to use up first so that we could be done with them. We didn’t put any in her diaper bag. We started using Desitin on her diaper rash and it seemed to be helping. That next Monday, she went back to daycare and when Nolan dropped her off he informed them of the hospital stay, and let them know I’d be picking her up at 2 instead of him getting her at 5 so we could go back for a checkup. He was supposed to tell them about the diaper rash and let them know there was Desitin in her bag, but when I picked the car seat up from him just before 2, he realized he’d forgotten to tell them about the diaper rash. I thought it wasn’t a major deal, I’d just let them know for Wednesday. So I picked her up and we went to our appointment, where I changed her diaper while waiting on the pediatrician. I noticed two things and was immediately bothered – 1) she had on a Huggies diaper. An unnumbered Huggies diaper. Which could have only come from home, unless they accidentally gave her another baby’s diaper, but then it most likely would have been numbered. And 2) there was still a little diaper rash cream on her butt. So I asked Nolan if he changed her diaper before he took her to daycare (yes) and did he put diaper rash cream on her at that time (yes). Then I asked him if he put a Huggies diaper on her, but he said he couldn’t be sure. But daycare didn’t know about her diaper rash and didn’t know we put Desitin in her bag because when I mentioned it to them at pickup, they said, “Oh, we didn’t even notice it.”  I have this gut feeling that she was in the same exact diaper Nolan had dropped her off in, which would have been about 7 hours in one diaper. NOT okay. And not to mention her diaper rash got WORSE after that day, but I’m happy to report is completely cleared up. Momma win.

3. And the final straw. Whitlee was eating 4 ounces every 4 hours and I’ll be honest, it was usually a struggle to get her to eat that much. Then she got sick and was barely eating 2-3 ounces at the hospital, but she was getting plenty of IV fluids + unflavored pedialyte as well. The Wednesday evening after discharge (so a little less than a week later) she was suddenly ravenous and wanted more than her normal 4 ounces and we gave her 6 ounces a couple of times but I wasn’t sure it was going to stick, so we played it by ear. The next day at my mother in laws, she said she acted hungry after each of her 4 ounce bottles, so that evening I fed her 6 ounces at 5 PM and 6 ounces at 9 PM. She took both bottles amazingly! So Friday, Saturday and Sunday we fed her 6 ounces at every. single. bottle. And she ate basically 5-6 ounces like she’d been doing it her whole life – didn’t fight us, didn’t need to stop and burp a dozen times, didn’t spit up afterwards. So I would definitely call that a permanent increase. It was about that time anyway. So when she went to daycare on Monday, my husband let them know she was now eating 6 ounces. When he picked her up, her little report sheet said she’d eaten 4 ounces that morning and 3.5 ounces that afternoon! Seriously?? I worried maybe it wasn’t permanent; maybe we’d gotten a growth spurt and it was over… then she continued to eat 6 ounces at home that evening at 5 PM and 9 PM, and all day the next day at my mother in laws, and again at home that evening. Uh, okay, so 6 ounces. For real. Nolan let them know again on Wednesday that she eats 6 ounces now. When he picked her up, her report sheet said she’d eaten 3 ounces, and 3.5 ounces – and that she “was extremely fussy all day”, with a sad face. He went straight Poppa Bear on them. He told me he is already noticeable because he’s the only dad that does daycare duty – and then he raised his voice and people were like coming out of classrooms to stare at him. She cried pretty much all the way home. At home she drank 6 ounces so fast that she puked, and then ate 2 more ounces. My poor baby was so hungry!! Again, NOT okay.

I was really upset with everything. An infant literally depends on other people for survival. It is ours and the caregivers we choose responsibilities to make sure she is clean, fed, and happy. They failed at keeping her clean (possibly, not proven) and keeping her fed, which resulted in a not happy baby! She continued to eat 5-6 ounces consistently with my mother in law the next day, with my mom the day after that, and with me all weekend. Nolan had every intention of going in on Monday (today) and raising 10 kinds of hell and demanding that they call him and tell him what she ate at 9 and 1, then if she didn’t eat enough he was going to leave work and go down there to feed her the rest – then give them more hell and threaten to pull her out. But I think we knew in our hearts that it just wasn’t going to go well. We had a gut feeling they would just start lying to us about what she ate, and that definitely wouldn’t be healthy.

My best friend, Kaitlin, actually keeps a few kids at her home, which is a half mile from our house. We’re lucky enough to live within walking distance of our best friends. She has her own child (almost 3 years old) and keeps a 6 month old full time and a 1 year old two days a week. She has offered to keep Whitlee a few times also but I had reservations about it because we wanted her to have the social aspects of daycare and originally Kaitlin only kept the one kid, plus I had first time momma anxiety that as much time as we spend with her and her husband, Whitlee would prefer her over me if she spent considerably more time with her. Now that I’ve realized Whitlee knows I’m her momma and she loves me in a special way, I’m pretty much past that part of the worry.

image

We grilled burgers yesterday with Kaitlin and her husband and let the girls play in the swimming pool and later we got to talking about day care and the problems we were having. And she mentioned again she had room to keep a couple more, especially since Whitlee was only part time and the other little girl was part time too. We talked about what she charges and their schedules and the more we talked, the more it just felt right. So when we left, I told Nolan where my head was with it and while it wasn’t something I wanted in the beginning, I feel like it’s a good move. We weighed the pros and cons and honestly couldn’t come up with any cons.

Pros:
-Close to our house
-I get text updates all day since Kai and I text all the time anyway
-She actually cares about Whitlee’s well being and has the patience to feed her what she needs to eat
-Social interaction with another baby close in age
-Less germs since less exposure to so many other kids
-A little less expensive (but I’ll go ahead and be obnoxious and say that good child care is seriously priceless.)

We pulled the trigger today and moved her to what I like to call Aunt KK’s mini daycare. Turns out, it was the right thing to do.

image

She ate 5.5 ounces this morning and 5 this afternoon. She said she’s napped really well and has been super happy all day. She and the 6 month old like to sit and smile at each other, and Whitlee tried to eat the other baby’s foot! Maybe that’s a good sign lol. They’ve been around each other many times before anyway, so it’s a familiar environment for her. My heart finally feels like all is well in the world of the working momma.

image

So lesson learned. Plans with a baby are usually anything but. Thankfully we have great friends that give just enough push that it ends up being a great situation!

And as a reward for reading this far – more pictures of us and Kaitlin and our kiddos!

image

image

image

image

image

image

NICU | Day 6

Words cannot explain getting to hold your baby for the first time!! I am so happy!!

image

They did take the line out of her belly which allowed me to do some skin to skin with her, finally! She seemed very happy on her momma’s chest and I was most definitely happy to have her there. She just looked around for a while and then fell fast asleep; never got upset til we took her off to go back in her little bed. She’s doing really well breathing on her own. They’re just working on increasing her feeding now. She’s up to 7ml every 3 hours right now, and they’ll be going up 2ml every shift. So now she just needs to eat more and gain some weight, then she’ll get to come home!

image

Family Picture ❤

NICU | Day 5

Today had a rough start. We got to the hospital at 2 like we normally do and when we got to the NICU, we called over the hall phone so they could let us in. We knew it was possible to run into this (they’d fully warned us it could happen) but they told us they had something going on with a new baby and we wouldn’t be able to come in for a little while, probably at least an hour. We decided to wait it out, even though I’d timed my pumping perfectly so that we had enough time to get there, see her for a while and get back before I needed to pump again. Waiting an hour really threw a hitch in my plan, but there was no way I could leave and come back.

We have had some really great nurses since we’ve been there… my favorite in L&D was a nurse named Melissa, my favorite on the mother/baby side is Kirsten and we’ve had three really great ones in the NICU – Amy, Megan, and one that I keep missing her name. Well today was Amy and she met us in the hallway after we called in and they said we’d have to wait and explained what was going on. She said they had a little 2 lb baby that was needing a transport to Texas Children’s and the transport team would be there in about 5 minutes, then it shouldn’t take more than 30-40 for them to get back on the road. I feel like it’s incredibly selfish of me but  I immediately became thankful that it was not our baby that needed the transport. As hard as it is to not bring her home yet, it could definitely be worse. Whitlee has made such significant progress and we are so proud she’s doing so well. I ended up seeing the mom and dad of that baby in the hall near the elevator just after the transport team came in, and my heart broke for them. I got choked up as I watched the mom cry her eyes out. I hope their baby is okay and gets to come home as soon as possible.

When they finally let us in to see Whitlee, I was in rough shape. I was having some emotional instability just before that, plus seeing those parents and having to wait to see our baby, I was just on the edge of tears the entire time we were in there. She was sleeping, on her belly again and had a pacifier. She looked very cozy! Our nurse, Amy, had told us we could bring her a blanket and some clothes and when they were able, they’d put her in some clothes and they would definitely put her blanket on her immediately. So I picked a purple giraffe print blanket to bring with us earlier that morning and she looked so pretty with that purple blanket next to her! They turned the lights off and we said hi to her and she immediately peeked her eyes open, just a little, like she was telling us “I know you’re here and I see you, but I’m sleepy, momma.” I like my sleep too, baby girl. So we really just watched her sleep for a while. Since we didn’t get in at 2 we’d missed the opportunity to ask to hold her or change her diaper so that kinda made me sad, but as long as she was doing well that’s all that matters. Before we left we got an update and they said she was doing very well on breathing and all she needed now was increased feeding. Once she was done with her antibiotics and taking a little more ml of breastmilk through her feeding tube, they’d be able to remove the line in her belly where they draw blood from, and we’d be able to hold her finally. Then she’d move on to bottle feeding and once she was taking 2 oz (I think) a feeding by bottle, and had gained enough weight, she’d get to come home. Her doctor is on vacation until Tuesday, and the replacement doctor is a little more hesitant to move forward until she’s more than sure they’re ready so our nurse said she half expected her doctor to come back Tuesday and be like “Why is she not on a bottle yet? Let’s move forward, she’s ready.” So I expect Tuesday to be a major day in progression. We left not quite as enthused since we got so much interaction the day before, but happy that she was still doing good.

At home, I was really sad that she wasn’t home with us and spent most of the evening a little upset. I know she’s in a good place and will be home with us before I know it but I’m dying to at least hold her. I hate that she’s 5 days old and I haven’t gotten to yet.

About 6:45 this evening, my phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as the hospital and panicked. I answered it and it was Amy, our nurse. She said quickly (I’m sure to calm me down), “Mrs. Hillin, this is Amy in the NICU. Nothings wrong, we’ve just made some changes I thought you’d want to know.” I was so so nervous. But she went on to tell me that they decided to take the line out of her belly and if everything went well with it during the night, I’d get to hold her tomorrow! I am so insanely excited but praying it goes well so that I do actually get to hold her. So that was our okay day, followed by very good news in the evening. Fingers crossed!!

Also, they gave us a little thing they “helped” her make for us on Thanksgiving. So sweet!!

image

NICU | Day 2

The second day we got to see our baby girl, she had already made even more improvement. They’d for sure taken her off the ventilator and she’d been on the cpap machine for a while. They said she was doing really good on it.

I was discharged this day about lunch time, so I was actually in the hospital less than 48 hours. They told us to take our time leaving, that even though we were technically discharged, not to get in any hurry. I think they knew it’d be hard to leave, knowing we were leaving without our baby. We told them we’d eat lunch, I’d pump one more time, then visit Whitlee at 2, then head home.

When we visited her at 2, there wasn’t much change, but she was still doing really well on the cpap and handling her food really well. They started feeding her that morning and they were doing 3ml of breastmilk every 3 hours thru her feeding tube and that was going pretty well also. We asked if we could touch her, because at this point we’d just got to look at her a bunch. They were like, “She’s your baby! Touch her all you want. Now is when we allow the babies to be touched, so get after it!” So we got to touch her little head and hands.. she was so soft! Then the nurse decided I could get a picture of her face so she pulled all of her cpap gear off really quick and let me get a quick picture. That was the first time we’d gotten to see her face since she was born and it made leaving a little less miserable. She’s such a pretty little baby! I won’t be sharing any pictures until she’s home. While I want the world to see how perfect she is, she’s hooked up to a lot of machines and I’m just not comfortable sharing that with anyone except our family and close friends.

We headed home shortly after that visit and I managed not to cry leaving the hospital. This was Thanksgiving day btw and we weren’t really in the mood for family socializing so we stopped at IHOP on the way home and had our first decent meal in days. At home, we unpacked and went to bed really early. I called the NICU for an update about 11 during one of my pumping sessions and I probably shouldn’t have. Whitlee had a nurse the night before that while I’m sure she is a wonderful nurse, her bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. She’s very short and very blunt. She’s also foreign, so understanding her is very difficult. Well she had that nurse again this night and over the phone I tried to understand her but what I got from it was that she wasn’t tolerating her feedings very well so they’d backed off for now. That was a hard pill to swallow knowing the only thing I could do at this point was pump milk for her and she wasn’t tolerating it. I went to bed upset and woke up upset, just completely worried she wasn’t eating at all.